Oly Writer

The first draft is humming now. Since I kept flipping back from the FD to the outline to copy in stuff I’d already written, I decide to spend my writing time Friday moving everything from the outline into the FD that appeared to still work. What a job. But interesting. When I finished, I had over 13,000 words in the FD. Of course, most of that is destine to be trashed in the next 42 drafts, but. . . still. . . it feels good after all the fearful agonize that it was all nothing but pointless keyboard pounding.

I’m hiding-out all weekend to write. Me and the espresso maker, my BF. Only one person I’d love to call me, but I’m sure that won’t happen. Need to get as much done on the FD as I can in the next couple days. A big pile of what-pays-the-bills work is about to topple from the inbox on top of me.

Made very good progress yesterday. Have nearly 5,400 word of the first draft down. And it looks pretty good too. . .for a first draft.

Everything seems to be working. The circles of Hell give me a nice framework to initially hang the story on. The unfolding backstory of a failed real estate project ties all the characters together. The community theater, a place I know well, allows me to paint the setting with interesting colors. And so far, odd characters have been poping up. Basing every scene on a circle of Hell defines the “sin” or characteristics of each character, which helps create the conflict in the scene.

Also something I realized yesterday. Price’s goal is to find Alice. Cindy’s goal is to stop him. Ironically, Cindy’s goal is also to keep Price from going downtown, symbolically his descent into Hell.

I’m having fun with Cindy, but I’m not sure how I’m going to sustain and upward escalation of her humorous attempts to keep Price from finding Alice.

Hmm. Perhaps at the end of Act I she realizes she needs help. Perhaps in Act II she begins to gather her army of little devils to start escalating the action. Flatten his tires? Planning a kidnapping. An accident?

A thought. Act III is essentially Dante’s 9^th Circle of Hell, the Traitors. Cindy must head for the Center to prepare for Alice’s opening night performance title (what else), “Inferno.” She gets Mel to tag along with Price to keep him from finding Alice. Mel acts like Price’s friend, but she’s a traitor.

Downtown is plastered with posters for Alice’s performance. On the eve of opening night (that night) Cindy sends her army out to rip-down Alice’s posters in an attempt to keep Price from seeing them. In a sense, she’s betraying Alice by tearing down her posters for her own personal reasons. Cindy lusts for Alice and sees Price as a rival.

Alice’s friends sitting in Batdorf’s see a mob racing around pulling down Alice’s posters. They become outraged and go chasing after them, attacking, and re-hanging the posters. Price and Mel have stopped at Darby’s when he sees a big commotion taking place across the street in front of the Capital Theater. He recognizes the people being attacked as the people he’s been to that day.

Curiously he wanders over to see what’s going on and runs into two of his oldest and dearest friends. (This is the Well of Giants scene already in the outline). They tell where to find Alice. Mel rushes off to warn Cindy Price is coming.

This turns out to be perfect set-up for the final scene before the beginning of the story’s climax, Price finds Alice at the Washington Center dancing. He’s been led to believe by Mel it’s a dress rehearsal. In the dark theater, in the wings, he can’t tell there’s an audience. Cindy’s final desperate act of betrayal, risks ruining Alice show when she gives Price a costume and sends him out on the stage in one final attempt to humiliate him and drive a wedge between him and Alice.

Sounds good. I like it.

Well, time to get writing.

Another 1,500 words yesterday, 3,000 total. Nearly enough words/day to finish the 50k first draft in 30 days.

Cindy has turned out to be the key to the story. It’s still Price’s story, but I can see how her antics—trying to keep Price from finding Alice—are going to be what makes the story funny. The fear of, and wanting to know what Price plans to do when he finds Alice drives the story. The gun in the knapsack he carries as he looks for Alice charges the drama. Plus, the slow revelation of what happened years ago that’s makes everyone still so mad at him. The nail biting and hypnotist report get worked in as Price reveals that Doria was responsible for getting him arrested. He starts reminiscing, little by little going back over all the reasons why he hates his sister.

I‘ve been a little worried with the contradiction in story of Price being so desperate for Alice’s forgiveness, yet apparently totally unwilling to forgive his sister. Then it occurred to me that all Price’s life he’s been constantly forgiving Doria, trying to love her, only for her to betray him on a big time, seriously adult level.

Before the story begins, Price has forgiven Doria for almost getting him thrown in prison. She made a stupid mistake (though she never apologizes, being stubbornly self-righteous). What he has come to accept, though, is that it’s okay to hate her, as one would hate evil. She is “evil” in his application of the interpretation of the word.

Doria is very smart. She’s evil because she has the ability to reason, but reasons that mastering specious evangelical sophistry is a way to terrorize and control the people in her life. Her anger with Price is that she can’t control him. The last thread of control she has is his guilt for hating her. He’s been told to him over and over again “you can’t hate your sister” by everyone except Alice. This thread is finally broken when Doria betrays him.

Well, getting late. Better get to writing. 

I started the first draft this morning shortly after the previous post. It all fell together so neatly after I realized Cindy would be the humor that would tie the story together. I wrote over 1,500 in just a couple hours. Looks like I’m on my way! 

Excellent, excellent news this morning. I found the humor in the story!

Spent time this morning fixing the outline. Then I spent a little more time imagining the story. The addition of Cindy as the primary antagonist makes so much sense. She works perfectly into the plot. In fact, her subplot excites the story. Then I realized Cindy’s efforts to keep Price and Alice apart is the humor of the story. She doesn’t sit idly at home making phone calls. She actively stalks Price, getting crazier as he begins to narrow in on Alice’s where abouts. This is the break I’ve been looking for. I have everything I need now for my story!!! 

I feel there’s lots of potential for a story in what I have put together for The Year. I’m afraid I’m wasting my time though. If I actually knew how or had the talent to write humor (or writing talent at all), it might work.

I’m going to think hard about it this morning. Try to think of some way to make this story work. If I can’t, I’m putting it aside. I’ll work on the UFR sequel. At least I’m enjoying that.  

Problem is, the majority of The Year is backstory, and most of that is in Price’s guilty angst for hating his sister. Yet I have a good inciting incident and surface problem. Price has a story goal and story worthy problem (that could be improved). I have a good ending with an ironic twist developed from a misleading expectation of why Price is searching for Alice, possibly carrying a gun with him. The antagonist is motivated and could be fun to write. The background problem of the failed real estate project makes sense. People do hold grudges forever over things like that. And the incident that spins off from that, Doria causing Price to be arrested, and the humiliation that causes Price, enough from him to leave Olympia for ten years, also makes sense.

I guess I just don’t like having the majority of the story as backstory. I also think I’ve complicated the creative process by the setting the story in Olympia’s theater community. My mind sees real people, but I need to create characters.

It seems like the story I’m actually trying to tell is some kind of justification for Price hating his sister. It might be better if, before this story starts, Price has resolved the fact he has good reasons to hate his sister. He’s not guilty about this. The hypnotist report is only shocking because he realizes he could have saved himself a lot of grief decades ago had he accepted its conclusion.

I like the inciting incident. However, perhaps Price is not looking for the gun to commit suicide. He simply finds it in the dust covered storage, and starts feeling terrible for stealing it from Alice when, 10 years ago, he had contemplated suicide. Then he finds the report. It jolts Price. He realizes that he made a decision to ignore the hypnotist. Had he not, he might’ve prevented the disaster later. His realization motivates him to head for Olympia to return Alice’s heirloom and ask her forgiveness for leaving her, perhaps even get her back. His story worthy problem is still his need to forgive himself.

From the beginning of their relationship, Alice had become aware that Price hates his sister and feels terribly guilty about it. Doria is a tyrannical, self-righteous evangelical. She is a black and white moralist just like their father was. Price dreads his obligatory family visits. Alice can’t understand why he feels obligated to maintain a relationship with Doria. He doesn’t have to love Doria just because she his sister. She no friend or comfort. He wouldn’t choose her for a friend. If she were any other person he’s simply avoid her. Price only realizes the truth of this when Doria betrays him.   

Perhaps the search for Alice is simply a vehicle for the unfolding the events that have led up to the reason why Price is searching for her with a gun in his knapsack.

Cindy sends Price to a theater where she knows Joe, an ally who hates Price, will be there. She doesn’t think Price has the courage to face Joe. To be safe, though, she calls the theater and warns Joe Price might be coming. She doesn’t want Joe to tell Price where Alice is. Joe and Price have an encounter. After Price leaves, Joe calls Cindy and tells her he sent Price to another theater where Audry will be. Cindy is certain Price would never have the courage to talk to Audry, but she calls Audry to warn her anyway. This is the pattern. Towards the end, Cindy realizes that Price is determined to find Alice. She calls everyone and rallies them to confront Price en masse, and let him know in no uncertain terms he’s not welcome back in Olympia.

Okay, this helps. In the Notes file I have several "dialogues" that were planned to be used in the final scene with Price and Alice. I can see how I can use these dialogues in the encounters Price has with his ensemble antagonists. Combined with the backstory that can be turned into dialogue and Price’s thoughts, and what I think I’ve got enough rattling around in my head, I can create the material for the first and second acts. I’ll work on it today. Maybe all is not lost.  

Working on the outline the last couple days, the character of Alice–Price’s ex-lover who he is searching for to ask her forgiveness–is being built up with the expectation that she is trying to avoid him and spreading rumors as she goes. However, at the end of the story I discovered a resolution to Price’s story worthy problem that was both ironic and comic. It also completely reverses the expectation of Alice being the antagonist when Price finally catches up with her. So, I had a dilemma. Who’s the antagonist of the story? Then it dawned on me.

At the beginning of the second chapter, Price arrives at Alice’s home expecting to find Alice. Instead another woman comes to the door, another ex-lover, Cindy. Her purpose in the story was simply to tell Price Alice isn’t home. I remember in one of my books on writing the author saying, never waste a character. Don’t populate a story with characters that pop-up with a little bit of information, then disappear.

The plot is being built around an arts center development project that spun out of control. It’s triggered by a jealous husband of another of Price’s old ex-lovers who are involved in the project. It occured to me that behind that story–the jealous husband–was someone else who had a grudge against Price. 

Though the story could work with an ensamble antagonist–the mob (minions from Hell) that end up chasing Price and cornering him at Percival Landing–it would be stronger to have someone behind it, a primary antagonist with a story goal.

Then out of the blue it hit me. Cindy. Right there at the beginning of the story. She knows perfectly well where Alice is, but she’s not going to tell Price. And when he asks for a lead, she sends away from Alice and straight into Hell. Pefect. She’s one of his many ex-lovers before Alice. She’s also always lusted for Alice. She’s the scorned woman out for revenge behind the problem with the jealous husband in the arts center project. The plot thickens!    

Had some good ideas yesterday I think will help focus the story. Here what I wrote in the outline:

BACKSTORY: 

Price was a key figure in an arts center development project. He got all his theater friends to invest. But one of the partners is an ex-lover who still carries a torch for Price. Her husband gets jealous and begins maneuvering behind Price’s back to take control. By the time Price realizes what’s going on, it’s too late. Feeling betrayed, Price loses his temper, and the project begins to spin out of control without his leadership. The original investors fight among themselves, taking sides. It becomes very personal, and Price is forced out.

Alice is furious with Price for letting his emotions interfere with project business. Price becomes furious with her for what appears to be her taking sides against him. They break-up over it.

Then Doria, Price’s hated sister, butts in. Out of guilt for hating Doria, Price has been trying too hard over the years to maintain a relationship. He mentions the problem to Doria in reply to an email. Typical of her, she uses his problem to "bring Price to Jesus." 

Price explodes. He’s literally told Doria a thousand times not to preach to him. For decades he’s patiently explained the reasons why he’d never, ever consider return to his evangelical roots. He rages at her in an exchange of rapid-fire emails. Late in the night, in state of drunken stupidity, despondent over Alice and the Project, Price really wants to hurt Doria for the lifetime of emotional misery he’s endured simply because everyone tells him “you can’t hate your sister.” He just can’t bring himself to tell Doria he hates her, and never what’s to speak to her again. Instead, he stupidly, inexplicably, makes a not so veiled threat against Alice.

Doria immediately calls Alice. Alice tells a friend. The friend calls the police when Alice won’t. The police go to Doria. Angry with Price for insulting her (and the Bible by implication)-and wanting to teach him a lesson-Doria tells the police Price threatened to kill Alice. The police want proof. So Doria doctors Price’s email turning it into an explicit threat. Too late, Doria realizes that she’s given them evidence they use to charge Price with a felony. Price is arrested.  

The art center project spins completely out of control without Price. Many of the investors ended up selling short and lose money. However, Alice and a few others hang in and hold it together. The project eventually recovers and becomes a success. But the original investors blame Price are among the people that Price meets in his search for Alice.  

As Price searches for Alice, the people he meets, combined with his guilty memories, begin to build a picture of what a bad man Price is. But this picture is Price’s picture of himself. Price’s actions paint an entirely different picture.

In the climatic scene, Alice finally appears. I want the story to lead the reader to wince with anticipation that Alice will nail the coffin shut on Price’s self-esteem. She appears to deliberately humiliate him on stage when he’s cruelly tricked into joining a live dance performance to get close to her. When she emerges from the mob, I want the expectation to be that she’s about to deliver the final kick in the head that will provoke Price to pull out that gun Price he’s been carrying around in his knapsack all day, and shoot her.

Of course, the story is a comedy so it has it’s last big twist in the end. 

Finished Niven’s INFERNO in one day. An easy read. His main character makes a literal re-tracing of Dante’s journey through Hell, but with modern characters, and "sins" re-cast in modern terms. This is not what I want to do, but it was enlightening. 

Price’s story is also a descent into–and passage through–a figurative hell. I said Saturday that Price’s search for Alice could be framed in the nine circles of Hell. But rather than the people he meets reminding him of his "sins," it’s a combination of his and theirs, progressively getting worse. 

I have this from Dante to start with: 

ACT I

Limbo
Lust
Gluttony
Hoarders and the Spendthrifts
Wrathful and the Sullen

ACT II

Heretics
Tyrants and Murderers
Suicide
Violence Against God and Nature
Fraud
Pandering and Rape
Flattering
Simoniacs
Sorcerers, Soothsayers and Fortune Tellers
Barrators and Grafters
Hypocrites
Thieves
Fraudulent Counsellors
Sowers of Discord, Scandal and Schism
Falsifiers

ACT III

Traitors To Kindred
Traitors To Their Country
Traitors To Their Guests Or Host
Traitors To Their Benefactors

The structure of the Divine Comedy also lends itself to a story in three acts. 

I’m thinking of starting with Cirlces of Hell for inspiration for my story’s scenes. I’ll take the "sin" and sketch out a scene for it. Perhaps three scenes, one for Price’s search for Alice in the present, one for the Alice/Price backstory, and one for the Doria/Price backstory. Then look at them all and see how pieces fall into place. This will not be literal following of Dante’s journey. Perhaps I’ll even re-arrange the order of the "sins" to my liking or for dramatic emphasis.     

Another thing going for a "journey through sins" approach might be to help me frame the story of Price’s quilt about hating his sister. What are the "sins" of Christian zelotry? Schism? Perhaps, like Nevin did in the INFERO, I’ll create a new circle in Hell for Christain zealots. Doria not only lies to the police about Price, she also betrays him. It works perfectly that the bottom of the 8th Cirlce of Hell is for liars, and just one step up is Schism. More important, the top of the 9th Circle of Hell is for traitors to kin.  I’m liking this more and more :>)

P.S. Found a website with a nice summary of the Divine Comedy. Copied it into word and began extracting aspects I thought might work for THE YEAR. Came upon this:

Circle V: The Wrathful.  "They have a rage against themselves and attack and bite their own bodies." Biting one’s fingernails is an attack on one’s own body. That’s perfect!! The actual 30 year-old hypnotist’s report I found recently (the impetus for this story, its Inciting Incident) said that I began biting my nails at age eight in response to my zealot, evangelical grandmother telling me I was a bad person and would go to Hell for hating my sister. 

Looking back over the three act structure, I’m astonished by the coincidence of a possible "Logical Disaster" (Bickham) ending Act One being a Sullen Price raging (Wrathful) against himself.  

It appears all of Act One can be Price’s sins. It delights me that a good two-thirds of the story is in Act Two, as it should be. These "sins" can be portrayed through all the crazies who form the mob that eventually begins to chase Price.

Act Three could be the portrayal of the conflict with Doria, her false statements to the police, her betrayal, and Price’s arrest. The lucky coincidence of this structure astonishes me.