More Second Thoughts
I feel there’s lots of potential for a story in what I have put together for The Year. I’m afraid I’m wasting my time though. If I actually knew how or had the talent to write humor (or writing talent at all), it might work.
I’m going to think hard about it this morning. Try to think of some way to make this story work. If I can’t, I’m putting it aside. I’ll work on the UFR sequel. At least I’m enjoying that.
Problem is, the majority of The Year is backstory, and most of that is in Price’s guilty angst for hating his sister. Yet I have a good inciting incident and surface problem. Price has a story goal and story worthy problem (that could be improved). I have a good ending with an ironic twist developed from a misleading expectation of why Price is searching for Alice, possibly carrying a gun with him. The antagonist is motivated and could be fun to write. The background problem of the failed real estate project makes sense. People do hold grudges forever over things like that. And the incident that spins off from that, Doria causing Price to be arrested, and the humiliation that causes Price, enough from him to leave Olympia for ten years, also makes sense.
I guess I just don’t like having the majority of the story as backstory. I also think I’ve complicated the creative process by the setting the story in Olympia’s theater community. My mind sees real people, but I need to create characters.
It seems like the story I’m actually trying to tell is some kind of justification for Price hating his sister. It might be better if, before this story starts, Price has resolved the fact he has good reasons to hate his sister. He’s not guilty about this. The hypnotist report is only shocking because he realizes he could have saved himself a lot of grief decades ago had he accepted its conclusion.
I like the inciting incident. However, perhaps Price is not looking for the gun to commit suicide. He simply finds it in the dust covered storage, and starts feeling terrible for stealing it from Alice when, 10 years ago, he had contemplated suicide. Then he finds the report. It jolts Price. He realizes that he made a decision to ignore the hypnotist. Had he not, he might’ve prevented the disaster later. His realization motivates him to head for Olympia to return Alice’s heirloom and ask her forgiveness for leaving her, perhaps even get her back. His story worthy problem is still his need to forgive himself.
From the beginning of their relationship, Alice had become aware that Price hates his sister and feels terribly guilty about it. Doria is a tyrannical, self-righteous evangelical. She is a black and white moralist just like their father was. Price dreads his obligatory family visits. Alice can’t understand why he feels obligated to maintain a relationship with Doria. He doesn’t have to love Doria just because she his sister. She no friend or comfort. He wouldn’t choose her for a friend. If she were any other person he’s simply avoid her. Price only realizes the truth of this when Doria betrays him.
Perhaps the search for Alice is simply a vehicle for the unfolding the events that have led up to the reason why Price is searching for her with a gun in his knapsack.
Cindy sends Price to a theater where she knows Joe, an ally who hates Price, will be there. She doesn’t think Price has the courage to face Joe. To be safe, though, she calls the theater and warns Joe Price might be coming. She doesn’t want Joe to tell Price where Alice is. Joe and Price have an encounter. After Price leaves, Joe calls Cindy and tells her he sent Price to another theater where Audry will be. Cindy is certain Price would never have the courage to talk to Audry, but she calls Audry to warn her anyway. This is the pattern. Towards the end, Cindy realizes that Price is determined to find Alice. She calls everyone and rallies them to confront Price en masse, and let him know in no uncertain terms he’s not welcome back in Olympia.
Okay, this helps. In the Notes file I have several "dialogues" that were planned to be used in the final scene with Price and Alice. I can see how I can use these dialogues in the encounters Price has with his ensemble antagonists. Combined with the backstory that can be turned into dialogue and Price’s thoughts, and what I think I’ve got enough rattling around in my head, I can create the material for the first and second acts. I’ll work on it today. Maybe all is not lost.
